Thursday, November 26, 2015

October ~ November 1 Second

I love making the 1-second a day movies.

But I didn't do anything in September when Eric died.
And October was sporadic because I missed him. And so was November.

So anyway, this is a compilation of 1-seconds from October & November, not in order at all, but that's okay. Eric would have been in several of these clips and tonight I miss him more than ever, but I know how lucky I am to have all these wonderful people in my life too and that life is good.

Happy Thanksgiving!

OctNov15 from Pam on Vimeo.

Thanksgiving Day 2915

Thanksgiving today was SO GREAT.  Jules, Cindy, and Maureen got here about 9.30am for a potluck breakfast with us and Siobhan, then we went for a big walk at a local park with all our dogs.  Craig stayed at home with Daniel as he had been up since 6am cooking so wanted some alone time, and Daniel was throwing up last night at 2am (yes, really. Ugh my poor love).

Anyway, at the park Ben ran and ran and ran and jumped in the lake and sniffed dog bums and had the best time of his life. I loved watching him, my 3rd son who's always neglected, have a great time.
Talking of sons - I was so proud of Jack. He's an amazing young man, interacted with all my friends, collected litter, found muskrat nests, unbeknown to me had brought snacks in his backpack for the dogs (seriously, how wonderful is he?) and was just a good egg. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my boy.


He said he was taking a picture of us, but took 20 selfies - hence the laughing!

Thanksgiving dinner cooked by Craig was AMAZING.
We had: Turkey & stuffing, gravy, mashed potato, carrots & nips, brussel sprouts, cranberry sauce, and I made the most amazing Yorkshire Puds because I have a secret recipe form a Yorkshire lass. I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Look at them Yorkshires!

Lovely people 

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Thanksgiving 2015

I have FIVE WHOLE DAYS off work! I don't have to be anywhere, do anything big,  put make-up on, or deal with people's needs. Woohoo!   Another great start to the holiday was that Dave came over for dinner tonight. He's doing good and looking fantastic. Of course we talked a little about Eric but it was nice to see him looking so good and doing things that make him happy in life. I'm so glad he and I have kept our friendship. When he left and told us "I love you guys" it made me both happy and then of course I had a little cry.

But anyway.

I love the Thanksgiving holiday so much!  It's like Christmas but there's no presents, so no stress.  It's purely about being together, enjoying each other's company, eating,  and laying on the couch rubbing your big belly and watching telly. That's it. No tree or decorations or gifts.  Wouldn't it be great if Christmas was the same?

Our Thanksgiving this year is one to look forward to. I took the day off work tomorrow to hang out with the kids. Thursday (Thanksgiving Day) we have the Expats coming for a breakfast potluck and big walk, then we'll have a huge turkey dinner about 3. Followed by slovenly behaviour and more eating. There might be a random Foosball game thrown in, if I'm not in  turkey coma.

Of course we'll watch our traditional Thanksgiving film  "Planes, Trains & Automobiles"

And we'll have some "English" twists to the holiday that includes tatties, carrots & nips and custard on our pie. But other than that we'll embrace this very American holiday with great gusto. How can you not love a holiday that just about love and fun, with no commercial crap attached (Black Friday is the day after, that's for another day!)


At Eric's funeral everyone kept talking about his big heart. He did have a huge one and I've convinced myself that's why he died. He just gave too much of himself and partied too hard with reprobates like me.  He loved everyone, was kind to everyone.  As his sister Peggy said "it's a shame for people who didn't know him, because they missed out".

Scrolling through his Facebook page today I saw posts where he'd say something pro-Obama or pro-Democrat and he'd have a friend come on there who was a conservative who'd argue with him and then he'd make it funny, then diffuse the situation, and they'd end up professing love for one another.  He was that kind of person. Far better than I could ever hope to be.

I want to be kind and funny, but I'm struggling a bit with that to be honest recently. I'm feeling curmudgeony.  Really curmudgeony. I have also forgotten important birthdays, not got together with dearest friends in England when I had the chance (I was sick though), and not been there for friends in need. I feel like such a terrible daughter & friend right now. And don't get me started on how crap I feel as a parent. Tonight was a particular gem of screaming & crying.

I can't be the only person feeling totally inadequate can I?  How do other women juggle being a family member, friend, work colleague, teacher, wife, mum?  How come people send me parcels on time? Call to wish me Happy Birthday? Get their kid's homework in on time and I can't?

I work outside of the home, that's why. If I spent all day at home I'd remember to buy gifts, wrap gifts, call people. I'd also be in a situation to make International calls. But I'm not. I'm out of the house all day long and when I get home at night or weekends I have to do all the housework and bills and house projects that's backed up. It's HARD.

So I want to be more like Eric (though he did love to be bitchy - he wasn't a saint!) but how to get there? How do I feel love and not be a big curmudgeon? I seriously DON'T KNOW. My humour has left the building.